3 Good Reasons To Leave Your Church

Leaving Church

They say, “all good things must come to an end.” Often, that is true when it comes to the relationship you have with your church family. Leaving is never easy but in some cases it is necessary.

In a previous post, I suggested that there were some very terrible reasons for leaving a church. But, are there any good reasons to leave a church? Yes, there are plenty, and here are three:

Spiritual Abuse

If the leaders of your church use biblical pressure tactics to coerce or manipulate you in any way, it’s time for you to move on. I have heard of pastors that twist the Bible in order to guilt people into serving or giving money. I have seen pastors and leaders who reduce Christianity to a list of rules that must be followed by their congregation at all costs. When their followers fall short of these regulations they are shamed, disgraced, and penalized — often publicly.

This is nothing new and Jesus opposed these types of leaders. In Matthew 23:4 he said, “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.” He criticized the Jewish leaders for holding their followers to a higher standard than even they were able to follow.

Spiritual abuse is a dangerous trend and is often disguised as the pursuit of holiness. Of course, being holy is something that all believers should aspire to (1 Peter 1:14–16), but our desire to live a Christ-like life should flow from our desire to please God, not the pastor.

Our desire to live a Christ-like life should flow from our desire to please God, not the pastor.Click To Tweet

Teaching That Is Unbiblical

When someone in the congregation says, “I’m not being fed,” it usually means they don’t like the preaching in their church. Sometimes their reasons for not liking the preaching are superficial. For example, they don’t think the pastor is funny enough, or his/her sermons are too long, or they don’t appreciate their style.

But there are occasions when a pastor falls short of their call to teach the Word accurately and consistently. Defective teaching is harder to judge, considering the wide variety of teaching styles and methods. But, if you notice that your teaching pastor consistently avoids using the Bible during his/her messages, turns every single message into a political statement, or adds their own ideas to the gospel, you should be on high alert.

The Apostle Paul faced this exact situation on a number of occasions. He wrote to the church in Galatia to warn them about perverting the gospel through false teaching. He said, “but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ” (Gal 1:7) A few verses later he says they should be cursed!

If your church leaders are preaching any gospel other than the simple truth of Jesus Christ, Son of God, crucified and raised for your sins to the eternal glory of God — it’s time to go.

Your Gifts are Needed Elsewhere

On a more positive note, there are times when there is no controversy and no abuse, however, the gifts and talents that you have been given are needed more in a different congregation.

About 7 years ago a good friend and member of our worship band came to me and told me he was leaving our church. He loved our church family and everything about the congregation. However, he felt called to be a part of the worship team at a smaller church across town. Since our music team was well-stocked with talented musicians and theirs was not, he knew his talents would make a bigger impact for the gospel in their church. We blessed him and his family as he left, knowing that he was leaving for the right reasons.

If you are a follower of Christ then you have been given a gift (1 Peter 4:10). Are you are using that gift to its fullest potential at your church? If not, find out how to get involved so that you can strengthen your church family and be a part of the gospel’s forward movement. However, if your gift is needed in a different church, then pray and ask God if it’s time to go. While it may be difficult to leave your church family, it’s always the right idea to follow God’s call, even if that means saying goodbye to a church you love.

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Have you been a part of a church that abused its congregation? If you have let me know in the comments section. I would love to hear from you.

3 Terrible Reasons To Leave Your Church

leaving church leave

I have been a pastor for almost 15 years. In that time I’ve seen my share of people leave our church. Sometimes they go nicely, and for good reason. Other times they leave in a hail storm of controversy and bitterness.

Believe it or not, sometimes leaving a church is the right thing to do. Often times though, people leave for very bad reasons and when they do they cause damage to the body of believers.

Here are the 3 worst reasons you can give to leave your church body:

The Music Is Too Loud

Over the years I’ve heard this one more than a few times. If this is the only issue you have with a church it shouldn’t be enough to cause your exit. In almost every church in America (certainly every church under 300 people), the band and sound team are made up of volunteers. These well-meaning and dedicated men and women are not professional audio engineers. They are usually well-meaning folks trying to do their best on Sunday morning.

If the sound is legitimately too loud then I suggest you do a couple things:

First, volunteer to be a part of the sound team! That way, with your hand on the control knob you’ll be able to make sure the sound is just perfect for you. But be aware, you’ll likely field a number of other complaints such as, “I couldn’t hear my son’s guitar at all” or “why isn’t my daughter’s voice louder?”

Second, you could simply purchase an inexpensive pair of sound reducing ear plugs! I’m being serious. There’s no shame in doing this – especially if you love everything else about your church family.

I’m Just Not Getting Fed

Not only is this a bad reason for leaving your church, it’s not biblical. Actually, uttering the phrase “I’m not getting fed” reveals a lot about your lack of spiritual maturity. Only a spiritually immature Christian would think it’s the job of the pastors or ministry leaders to hand-feed them. As a believer, the goal is to feed yourself.

The writer of Hebrews illustrates this clearly by calling out the Jewish believers for their lack of understanding and for having the inability to feed themselves. He/she says, “For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food… (Heb 5:12)” We all know that babies drink milk while adults eat solid food. Infants are hand-fed, but eventually learn to eat on their own. Spiritually speaking, it’s obvious – mature Christians should be able to feed themselves. In that way, the church is less of a restaurant and more of a kitchen. The teacher makes the food (teaching) available and perhaps even combines the ingredients (draws conclusions, points out an application, etc.), but the mature believer does the work.

The church is less of a restaurant and more of a kitchen Click To Tweet

Even if you think the preaching is subpar or if you’re not 100% interested in every topic your pastor chooses, as long as the Bible is open you should be able to get something out of it. You might just have to do some of the chewing.

The Church Is Full Of Hypocrites

Well, that’s just stupid. Yes, the church is full of hypocrites. It’s full of liars, drunks, and cheaters too. Complaining about a church being full of sinners is like complaining about too many sick people being in a hospital. Sick people belong in a hospital and sinners belong in a church!

Complaining about a church being full of sinners is like complaining about too many sick people being in a hospital. Click To Tweet

If you leave your church hoping to avoid hypocrites then you’ll never find a church home. Every church is full of men and women who are recovering from the effect of sin in their lives. When Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus he said, “put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Eph 4:22-24)” Obviously, Paul has to say this because it’s not exactly happening–the people need a reminder. And guess where they are? In the church!

If you feel the need to leave a church because it’s full of hypocrites then the best thing to do is take a good look in the mirror. There’s a good chance you have a plank in your eye! (Matt 7:5)

So, are there reasons to leave a church? Of course! There are several good reasons to leave but they are all Biblical reasons. Stay tuned, I will write an article called, “3 Biblical Reasons To Leave Your Church” next week.